Please, please do not smoke cigars right before bedtime. Cigars should only be enjoyed after a fine meal with a glass of good scotch, not at 9:30 pm on a weeknight after a greasy pub sandwich and fries and a glass of Jim Beam from the bottle left behind when your in-laws came to visit.
I truly hope that after spending the night in the bathroom turning yourself inside out from the giant nicotine hit, cheap booze and greasy meal and waking up with a mouth that tastes like someone put a dirty cat box in it and lit a slowly smoldering fire, you will have learned your lesson.
May I remind you that you are not Hunter S. Thompson?
Now go take a shower, you stink.
Love,
Your Inner T-rex
Inspired by my lovely friend Nikki "The Nock Out" who loves me even when I'm disgusting.
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