Thursday, May 9, 2013

A letter from my slightly disgusted self.

Dear Carol,

Please, please do not smoke cigars right before bedtime. Cigars should only be enjoyed after a fine meal with a glass of good scotch, not at 9:30 pm on a weeknight after a greasy pub sandwich and fries and a glass of Jim Beam from the bottle left behind when your in-laws came to visit.

I truly hope that after spending the night in the bathroom turning yourself inside out from the giant nicotine hit, cheap booze and greasy meal and waking up with a mouth that tastes like someone put a dirty cat box in it and lit a slowly smoldering fire, you will have learned your lesson.

May I remind you that you are not Hunter S. Thompson? 

Now go take a shower, you stink.

Your Inner T-rex

Inspired by my lovely friend Nikki "The Nock Out" who loves me even when I'm disgusting.